


And I Will Eat Your Soul Now

by Yaoiloverread



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: crack of the extreme order, no seriously read at your own peril, possibly parody, purposefully bad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 03:31:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yaoiloverread/pseuds/Yaoiloverread
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because sometimes we all need a little bad fic. <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I Will Eat Your Soul Now

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Hannibal, or any of its characters.
> 
> Warnings: some hints of cannibalism. But no outright eating.

**And I Will Eat Your Soul Now**

Hannibal was sitting in his chair his fingers crossed together in that 'Mr Burns' pose on the Simpsons, he only needed the evil laughter to go with it (not that he would do that, of course, he was much classier than that), as he listened to his client go on and on about her twenty-four cats.

"Are you sure you need so many?" he questioned, while internally wondering if she was worth the effort of even a stew (nah, probably too stringy. And the cat smell lingered anyway).

She sniffed again, and he brought out the tissues (again). At this rate, he was going to run out by lunchtime (and seriously, he should start charging by the box. He already had to bulk-buy, and the cashier was looking too amused. Maybe SHE would taste better as a stew).

Luckily, Will Graham took this moment to barge into the room, hair ruffled like he'd been running through the wind, or the wind through his hair, or maybe even both. Hannibal and the Cat Lady stared at him in tandem, because he looked hot, OK?

"Doctor Lecter!" he strode into the room like he belonged there (and Hannibal really wanted him to be. Maybe stuck to a pair of antlers on a wall, or something). "I need your help!"

Cat Lady was still looking at him in surprise (and admiration), so Hannibal distracted Will with a stray dog and took the time to knock her out against the chair. Will turned around to see Hannibal trying to put her down on the couch (it was meant to be gentle, but he didn't really care, so just dropped her in the end).

"Oh Hannibal," Will sighed. "You're so caring."

"That I am," Hannibal smirked, thinking up 297395793 new cannibal puns in the meantime (only half of them were about Will and how tasty he looked, I swear). "And I am also your paddle, and your friend, and I would like to have you for dinner- I mean, dinner with you. With no other people involved, unless they're food."

Will laughed like he was joking (but he really wasn't, that piano teacher wouldn't be needing his hands anytime soon), just managing to make eye contact, before he looked away.

Hannibal didn't like that, so instead of throwing a tantrum, he reached over and pushed Will's face up so that he could stare deeply into Will's eyes. "I must insist."

Will tried to squirm away (but not too hard, because they're hot when they're that close together), and finally looked into Hannibal's eyes too (somewhere in the background, Chopin or Beethoven or one of those other romantic composers started playing. In tandem).

They stared like Will was the deer (or maybe Hannibal was the stag? I always get so confused who is who. Maybe they're both does?) and Hannibal was the predator that wanted to eat him, only he didn't now that yet, so for now it's just a really hot scene that in romantic movies would lead to sex, OK? (I'm really trying on these metaphors, guys)

And then they blinked (in tandem). It must have been love.

Hannibal finally coughed, and leaned back. "So, what did you want me for?" And how many beds are we going to break while doing so, he didn't need to ask.

Will stared some more (like a baby deer, but one that's about to walk into the road, and you just know some asshole car is going to knock him over and make him roadkill, but you can't stop staring away because he's just so PRETTY), and finally shook himself out of his daydream/nightstag.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking down at the carpet again (it was a very dignified carpet, just like Hannibal, his mind sighed like a tween seeing 1D live). "I think I may have accidentally used my empathy on you."

"Like how?"

"Like for a moment, I thought you were a serial killer. How funny is that?" Hannibal only smiled behind Will's back.

"OK, we need to head to a crime scene (again)."

"I'll come with."

"Sure thing, partner. <3" And with that, Will exited the office.

Hannibal stared after him. "If I could eat your soul, I would," he pondered deeply to melodramatic classical music in the background. "But I'll have to settle for your heart instead."

Then he followed after his prey- I mean, Will Graham.

Fade to black. END.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the prompt at http://hannibalkink.dreamwidth.org/1847.html?thread=2027575
> 
> The OP said 'bad fic', and I said 'so that's... cheesy stuff, right?' (And the cheese is people)


End file.
